Drugs n' Books

After swigging my fair share of toxic stew the other night, it got me thinking about how other people enjoy their nights out. Below is a list of colourful names (and my opinion of what they do to you) that relate to a variety of delicious and dangerous drugs that the average whitey, brownie or darkie might scoff on a night out. This is usually before committing a crime, raping each other, buggering live stock or murdering da Po Po.

Names
1. Christine
(probably turns your piss green)

2. Jellies
(I would've thought makes you fat)

3. Mitsubishi Turbo
(fuck knows, unless it speeds up your metabolism and makes you thin over night… hmm, might try this)

4. Norries
(these must give you tits)

5. Sweeties
(presumably rots your teeth)

6. Eggs
(my favourite but it's effects...I can't imagine)

7. Droppers
(your pants fall down)

8. Chicken Fever
(makes you spotty and sweaty... so that's what he's been taking all these years, with 'Mitsubishi Turbo' no doubt)

What's the world coming to? An end hopefully. However, thinking about these creative and amusing names, dreamed up by the dregs of society, has inspired me to come up with some possible names for my upcoming children's book or short stories. I've been writing it on and off for years but I think I've finally come up with a few good titles:

Short Stories
1. Charlie Bingo's Whiz Bangs
(about a boy who tries drugs by accident and regrets it)

2. Wendy's Turbo-Sausage
(a young girl finds a rubbery robotic toy sausage and injures herself... by accident)

3. The Smell of Cracked Wheat
(two children play in the fields and get kidnapped... by accident)

4. Mighty Odin's Omelette
(mighty Odin makes an omelette for his son Thor)

5. Cathy Bilgewater
(unknown but I like the title)

6. Curse of The Camel's Toe
(ancient egyptian tomb raider tale)

There'll be a lesson to learn in all of them, for kids and adults too. Keep posted for book covers.