Am I not allowed to have an opinion?

Without giving the subject matter away, this is a snippet of a recent 'conversation' Jelly began:

"Oh, so it's only your opinion that counts, am I not allowed to have an opinion no?" Jelly squealed with anger, frothing at the mouth. I calmly replied, "In this case, of which I am well researched, I would consider my opinion more valid than yours as your knowledge, by your own admission, is lacking and is ill-informed. How can you have a valid opinion about something you know nothing about?"

Bubbling with rage Jelly spat; "So I'm not allowed an opinion!" I retorted, "Of course you are allowed an opinion, but don't expect me to change my view to agree with you just because you've voiced it, consider that I know more about the subject than you; it's simple logic that I don't agree with you". Boiling like an impatient kettle bobbing on the stove, Jelly spluttered, "So your opinion is more valid than mine? B*ll*cks, it's the complete opposite of logic..." sarcastically and triumphantly he continued to blabber incoherently. As I zoned out, he continued undeterred and blasted; "(blah blah)... so you're right! Nobody else is allowed an opinion... you're being an arse, as usual." Jelly started to gurn smugly as if it was winning a mind-battle with a 6 year old american delinquent with cerebral palsy.

For purely comedic reasons I continued, "I've already said everybody, including you, is allowed an opinion". I put my swimming goggles on and prepare for the spray of a thousand bovine bastards. He splattered, "Do you ever think you might be wrong, and somebody else might be right! You always think you're right, every time but you're not, you never listen to anybody else!" Struggling to keep a straight face I responded, "I do, I listen an awful lot (mainly to Jelly considering it's porcine-like mouth is always either eating or gassing)". He continued childishly, "No you don't, no you don't".

And on the rant went. As he continued I thought he might actually cry with exasperation (and explode; producing a wave of pig custard creating the world's first 'shower-trifle') but unfortunately this wasn't the case. Instead, the back of my computer monitor received the biggest man-produced biological spraying in recorded history as it was pelted with bacterial goo from Jelly's toothy cavern of noxious despair... the blast of hypocrisy and communism was so absurd, it became completely comical and slightly surreal (which is disappointingly common where the Jelly is concerned, as many will confirm).

To sum it all up. I think the Jelly's mind has finally collapsed under the pressure of it's own enormous, self-righteous ego. Let us hope that over Christmas it suffers an enormous stroke which renders it immobile and incapable of speech (let's be honest, it's already half way there). This will give us all the opportunity to shout our opinions into it's wobbly ears knowing it won't be able to reply or spit in our faces with it's usual bombastic, socialist bullsh*t. Sod waterboarding, his eyes will POP with rage when he realises no-one can hear him. Hilarious.