Assisted Suicide - Death By Dinner

Christmas is shit. Everyone who likes it should f*ck off to India or Ireland or some other backwater sh*thole and celebrate it with all the f*cking retards who worship the one with the thorny helmet. On the plus side, well... pictures say a million calories.

The Sh*ts

A phone call to my personal mobile phone this morning confirmed what we'd all expected; Jellyfish has the sh*ts and has rang in sick for the day for fear of cacking himself on the way to work.
'I'm not coming in today, I've got the sh*ts and I've had stomach cramp all weekend, I don't know what it is.'
I wonder if his overly digestive juices have been triggered by the recent Merseyside derby result? Maybe it was too many sugar encrusted objects for pudding, who knows. All I do know is that I was right from the start; Plop in Slippers really is full of sh*t.