Drugs n' Books

After swigging my fair share of toxic stew the other night, it got me thinking about how other people enjoy their nights out. Below is a list of colourful names (and my opinion of what they do to you) that relate to a variety of delicious and dangerous drugs that the average whitey, brownie or darkie might scoff on a night out. This is usually before committing a crime, raping each other, buggering live stock or murdering da Po Po.

Names
1. Christine
(probably turns your piss green)

2. Jellies
(I would've thought makes you fat)

3. Mitsubishi Turbo
(fuck knows, unless it speeds up your metabolism and makes you thin over night… hmm, might try this)

4. Norries
(these must give you tits)

5. Sweeties
(presumably rots your teeth)

6. Eggs
(my favourite but it's effects...I can't imagine)

7. Droppers
(your pants fall down)

8. Chicken Fever
(makes you spotty and sweaty... so that's what he's been taking all these years, with 'Mitsubishi Turbo' no doubt)

What's the world coming to? An end hopefully. However, thinking about these creative and amusing names, dreamed up by the dregs of society, has inspired me to come up with some possible names for my upcoming children's book or short stories. I've been writing it on and off for years but I think I've finally come up with a few good titles:

Short Stories
1. Charlie Bingo's Whiz Bangs
(about a boy who tries drugs by accident and regrets it)

2. Wendy's Turbo-Sausage
(a young girl finds a rubbery robotic toy sausage and injures herself... by accident)

3. The Smell of Cracked Wheat
(two children play in the fields and get kidnapped... by accident)

4. Mighty Odin's Omelette
(mighty Odin makes an omelette for his son Thor)

5. Cathy Bilgewater
(unknown but I like the title)

6. Curse of The Camel's Toe
(ancient egyptian tomb raider tale)

There'll be a lesson to learn in all of them, for kids and adults too. Keep posted for book covers.

The Fritz Dablisk Project - Methods Of An Age

The Fritz Dablisk Project - Mitsurugi

The Fritz Dablisk Project - Ghost of a Mirage

The Fritz Dablisk Project - Into the Blue

The Fritz Dablisk Project - For The Love of Entomogy

The Fritz Dablisk Project - Harp

The Fritz Dablisk Project - Polar Low

The Fritz Dablisk Project - Terrorbyte

The Fritz Dablisk Project - Starsystem

The Fritz Dablisk Project - The Cave

The Fritz Dablisk Project - The Episode

The Fritz Dablisk Project - The Origins of Black Tooth & The Flesh Tech Disco

The Fritz Dablisk Project - The Secrets of a Travelling Merchant

The Fritz Dablisk Project - Sol

Click the album sleeve to download the music

Nigel de Kong

Nige 'The Beast' de Jong, famed for his no nonsense approach, hard tackling and tenacious temperament had a cracking game at the weekend, which is more than can be said for the rest of the team. But there seems to be a lot of jibber jabber about a particular tackle this weekend.

Nobody likes to see a player injured, especially somebody as mentally disabled as Hatem Ben Arfa but in all fairness, he shouldn't have got in the way. What everybody doesn't seem to realise is that big Nige can easily be dealt with if you know how, and this is how:

Give him the ball

If you just pass the ball to him, he wont have to take it from you. He only wants the ball, he likes the ball, just play nice and give it to him… or suffer the consequences as 'Hatem' did.

Keep it up Nige, I can already smell Blackpool's bowels shifting up a gear.

Wasted

With the government about to make a hideous amount of cuts right across the public sector, I can scarcely believe the content of this blog. It's no surprise cuts are vital when the waste that incompetent lackadaisical bastards create is frightening - as the pictures above prove.

Q. But what are the pictures Albert?

A . Ink my good people, £13.000 unbelievable Sterlings worth of wasted unusable ink.

Needless to say, due to the gross incompetence of Jelly; I've had to get on top of the situation and take charge to stop this ever happening again, and to stop the potential threat of having the department shut down.

What a mother fucking waste of money!

Manchester's Gestapo

Only days after the warm welcome and rapturous applause for the new All Saints pump clip, Himmler and his fascist gestapo where the brew is served, have had a change of heart and decided to remove the clip due to 'artistic differences'. Shockingly they have replaced it with the appalling and religiously divisive filth that previously adorned the pump.

May I present to you a new unreasonable pump clip in response to their unreasonable censorship.

... that's the last favour I do for them the ungrateful bastards. I hope the pub goes up in flames with them all in it.

Nick Park Strikes Again

Who the fuck is this clown?

Phoenix - All Saints

The mighty Kid Hyphen decided to take matters into his own hands this week and designed a pump clip for a very tasty beer which had never actually been given one. Needless to say that the staff at the wonderful pub where All Saints is served were most impressed with the outcome and immediately endorsed the new clip.