Adele: Exceptional Talent Forthwith

WOW! INCREDIBLE! SHE'S SO AMAZING!

It's that time again people, when everyone from the music industry gets together to pat each other on the back to congratulate one another on yet another successful year of brainwashing. Top marks go to those who've managed to convince the public, against all the odds, to buy the dross produced by this years bunch of talentless heaps of utter wank. It's The Brits 2012!

Or as I like to say, 'The Let's Suck Each Others Cocks Time 2012'.

Yey.

Leading the limelight for me, was everyone's favourite southern scrubber: Adele 'I'm the most British person here' Laurie Blue Adkins (that's her real name apparently), who's incredible talent for making of fool of herself, eating when she's not hungry and then blowing off, was cut off live air due to 'scheduling errors' and giving the 'vees' to the 'suits'.

Well done. You're so outrageously independent it's sickening, and 'The Suites' are so jealous of your absurd talent. What a moral victory for you, Adele one, The Suites nil.

Adele's incredible and immense talent was apparent from an early age, claiming that her main inspiration was; the ultra-left wing feminist scag posse, yet extremely talented four-piece slut fest; 'The 'Spice Grills'.

Whoopee.

Using the forerunners of 'chavdom' and everything that's wrong with the country as her main influence seems to have worked wonders. She's sold trillions of records of meaningless drivel across the UK and US (just like 'The Spice Rack' did in the nineties) and also appears to have recruited a loyal legion of feckless dimwits supporting her every move.

However.

After telling 'The Suits' (as she likes to say) to fuck off, for no apparent reason, at 'The Let's Suck Each Others Cocks Time 2012' the other night, it became apparently obvious that this talentless, bloated, bovine disgrace has signed her musical death warrant. Why would you tell the people who gave you a career and managed to convince the public that you're so amazingly talented, to fuck off?

Well, thank God she did, because hopefully it'll have brought forth her inevitable demise.

But she's misunderstood. Oh, she's so rock and roll, so dangerous, so amazing. If she keeps on eating like she does, she become so dangerous she'll have to walk around with 'vehicle reversing' stickers stuck on everyone of her 12 sides.

Let's hope I never have to hear this wailing pig-in-a-wig ever again.

James Corden's next, another talentless pile of fatty drivel.