Thursday, 12 April 2012

Q&A: Are mobile phones the bane of existence itself?

Yes.

They're nothing but a noisy, fucking racket, with irritating nosey bastards on the other end; who then, having already ruined your day, torture you with a pile of mundane, useless fucking questions in order to occupy themselves. Are your lives so shallow? Get out.

Take someone's phone away from them, I dare you, then watch as they become utterly fucking useless human beings. I've seen the rancid coating of slime under my foreskin show a greater awareness of people than some of the ignorant cockrags I encounter every day.

That's how irritatingly obsessed and socially dependant people have become with them. Talk about cyborgs, the cunts. And to top this mountain of turgid shit off, you can now access Fakebook on them.

Self destruction.

What the fuck is going on in the world? What cunt thought it was a good idea to combine the brain-dead illiterate saps obsessed with Fakebook, with the zombie-like self obsessed simpletons addicted to their mobile phones? They've inadvertently created 'power-twats', or 'super-cunts', both of which must be destroyed.

Fuck me.

It all feels like we're soaring through the sky, out of control, towards a children's paddling pool full of semen, and under the thin crusty scum that has formed on the surface, a menacing array of soft brown chods lurk, silently, waiting for us. As we near the pool of death, we realise that all the snorkels and goggles in the world have been destroyed; leaving our eyes, ears, noses the mouths to be unwillingly filled with the sodden smelly discharge of a mentally disabled tramp.

Well you can fuck that for a game of shit biscuits, I will burn out my eyes and sow up by face before I suck up such cack.

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