Barry The Absolute Bastard™

Not content in being the world's biggest bastard; Barry The Absolute Bastard™ decided to cook one of his infamous 'Stir-Boils' the other day.

Barry The Bastard's Stir-Boil Supreme Mega
Serves 2 (apparently)

Ingredients
5 x Chicken Breasts
3 x Large Carrots
3 x Large Onions
4 x Green Peppers
1 x Red Pepper
15 x Baby Sweetcorns
(All cut into giant blocks)

Method
Throw everything into the wok and boil for 2 hours.

Result
6lbs of sodden veg submerged in 3 litres of murky water. Needless to say, it was a complete inedible disaster.

Bastard

Do everything for me, please, I'm so fucking lazy and damn important I can't be arsed.

It currently sits there, disagreeing with everybody, lying and contradicting people, even calling people liars. It sits issuing empty orders which are ignored by all, never lifting a finger to solve it's own problems, it wants everything doing for it, it wont contribute, it won't think... in fact, it can't think, it's stupid, retarded, childish and emotionally void - except for rage and anger and unless it gets what it wants, everyone will receive it's wrath.

It is in fact, impossible to be any lazier.

Disrespectful, bigoted, psychopathic, arrogant, ignorant, impatient, self-obsessed, gibbering bell-end. Make it die big Mo'. Strike it down for it IS sin.

The fat, idle, spoilt, lazy twat. May it's devilish parents burn in hell for birthing such a monster.

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!

The Angry Bulb

Artwork copyrighted to Zip Zip Kanuté 2009