Bastard

Do everything for me, please, I'm so fucking lazy and damn important I can't be arsed.

It currently sits there, disagreeing with everybody, lying and contradicting people, even calling people liars. It sits issuing empty orders which are ignored by all, never lifting a finger to solve it's own problems, it wants everything doing for it, it wont contribute, it won't think... in fact, it can't think, it's stupid, retarded, childish and emotionally void - except for rage and anger and unless it gets what it wants, everyone will receive it's wrath.

It is in fact, impossible to be any lazier.

Disrespectful, bigoted, psychopathic, arrogant, ignorant, impatient, self-obsessed, gibbering bell-end. Make it die big Mo'. Strike it down for it IS sin.

The fat, idle, spoilt, lazy twat. May it's devilish parents burn in hell for birthing such a monster.

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!

The Sh*ts

A phone call to my personal mobile phone this morning confirmed what we'd all expected; Jellyfish has the sh*ts and has rang in sick for the day for fear of cacking himself on the way to work.
'I'm not coming in today, I've got the sh*ts and I've had stomach cramp all weekend, I don't know what it is.'
I wonder if his overly digestive juices have been triggered by the recent Merseyside derby result? Maybe it was too many sugar encrusted objects for pudding, who knows. All I do know is that I was right from the start; Plop in Slippers really is full of sh*t.